Three more gone...

The Schierbecker family left last Friday. I found
myself, once again, unraveling at the seams as their
departure neared closer. I never think about these
goodbyes until they’re actually upon me...right there
in front of me, staring me squarely in the face so I
can do nothing but stare back, helplessly. I’ve
become quite good at completely denighing their
actuality until it’s absolutely necessary. This
moment of absolute was upon me last friday on March
10th. The Schierbecker family lived one stair level
down from me. I was always welcomed into their
family, their cabin, their time, their lives. Jens
was from Germany and Ana from Mexico. They had a
daughter about a year and half old and named her Tabea
Paulinna. Tabea was my girl. We were tight. Jens and
Ana reminded my very much of John Lewis and Ann Watts.
I imagine Tabea will grow to be a mixure of Posie and
Levi. I’m almost sure of it. This makes me smile.
Offspring of such thoughtful, hospitable, active
parents always excites me.

The Shierbeckers, Jens, Ana, and Tabea, left a gap in
my life on the ship. There’s this empty spot now that
I’m not sure how to fill and I hesitate to fill it
with anything because I don’t want to replace them.
I’m hestitant to allow anyone to take one step into
that space. It’s the Shierbecker’s space. They
filled it perfectly. They filled it beautifully.
They defined “family” for me on this ship. Jens is
from Germany and he was gentle and sensitive to me.
He like motercyles and cigars. He was the manager of
Community Development team on the ship. Jens always
asked how I was doing. When he asked, it wasn’t in a
tone that barely cared. He did care and he’d always
looked me straight in the eye and ask me twice and
said something like “are you sure?”. It would make me
smile inside even it if I didn’t always show it
outside. I knew he cared. He wasn’t just playing some
part. He was genuine to me and made me feel cared
for.

Ana worked in HR with me. She was the housing manger.
Ana was a daily example to me of selfless love. She
freely gave to those around her. She gave without
thinking. It’s just how Ana was. She's from Mexico
so it must have been in her bones. Those around her
were family. She tuned into those right beside her
and she gives them, she gave me, a feeling of
importance and significance. I was so worth her time.
At any time of the day, I was worth it. I could
always count on Ana. There was also this passion in
Ana that I will always remember. She had a love for
the African children that was so powerful to me. I
wish you could have seen her with the children. Not
only were they excited to see her but you could see it
in her whole body how grateful she was to be with
them. She was love to them. She was exactly what
they needed. She was always enthusiastic about
sharing the love of Jesus with them and that stuck out
to me. It was something remarkable the love she had
for those children and how real her love was, how
consistant it was.

But those three have gone. They've gone on vacation
to Mexico for 3 weeks. When they return, I'll have
left already for China.

I read this quote in the book, Life of Pi...

“It is true that those we meet can change us,
sometimes so profoundly that we are not the same
afterwards, even unto our names.”

I am not the same afterward. Even unto my name.