this is shunshine. not 'sun' but 'shun'. I met her last week when we took about 50 kids to an overnight camp a couple hours away. We were the counselors and there were all sorts of activities from 8am to 11pm. Shunshine was in my cabin, one of my 8, and at night we would have singing competitions with the cabin next door. When Shunshine got up one night and shyly took the hairbrush as her mike she counted herself off and started to sing. The room's chatter grew silent. We all stared and I had to wipe away my silent tears. Her voice was beautiful and I was moved beyond words. I encouraged her to work with Mr. Ward (our music leader) and the next day she began practicing with him and at the end of the week she performed in front of the camp with an original song and lyrics. One day you'll get to hear her, I'm sure.
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i haven't been this tired in a long time. my feet are dragging and my little kids notice. I was at a camp all last week overnight and then left for a exceptionally restful weekend trip the day i got back. But my arms are still heavy as the swing by my sides and my stomach is void of appetite. I'm exhausted and praying for strength to end these last two weeks well. i have no energy to write... but i do have the dream of it. for now my writing has been put on hold for small talks with kiko on the porch, making cards at my desk, and trying to pull myself together for my next 9-5 day with my kids. my life outside of work is very low key right now. or trying to be.
please pray for me. up until last week I thought I'd been doing great and wasn't going to have one of those breakdowns they'd warned us about from exhaustion and the stress of the children and their lives. and then last week it hit me, somewhere between Raven's constant meloncholy demeanor, jeremiah's relentless disrespect, and ashley's tiresome threats. it will be okay, i know. i remember 2 Corinthians 12:9,
but he said to me, "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect weakness."
what good news this is.
i am still glad to be where I am, only scared that I will not have the strength to finish out strong... to finish out the same way I began and the same way these kids needed me as I was in the beginning. I long to. pray for me.
you can check my flickr. i posted some color.
4 comments:
hang in there baby-parts of life are very stessful and hard-times of refreshment are promised too. xomom
wow, when you wrote about the room going silent while Shunshine sang, I found myself holding my breath too. As if somehow through space, time and cyberspace I could hear her too.
Praying for you now.
You have a lot to give, Sienna.
Your encouragement and love will
mean more than you know.
(even if it feels like it won't, and even when you're drained of all the love you thought you could give... God will use what you've got left, and it will go a long way).
♥
I hear you. James can be Jeremiah, Raven, and Ashley, and sometimes all in the same hour. I hear ya. And I will pray for you today (7/15) as you finish well. So cool about Sunshine and "Mr. Ward" : )
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