You've Got to Jump off Cliffs.

my first letter came 2 days ago...actually my first box! But that will get a whole post of its own very soon. The message on the card has had me thinking though. The one and only, Tobi Anderson from Las Vegas made this card for me. It sits on my night table now reminding me each night of the cliff. Look at it closely. Soak in the beautiful details.

I read it over twice to Signe. Signe knows how to appreciate a good quote. That's something I like about her. We were in the car on our way to Kristiansand and car time is good thinking time. It wasn't a hard quote to understand but it was one of the most timely I've recieved. Signe knows I've had a bit of a hard time here. She knew it was going to happen. She experienced the same sort of thing on the Mercy Ship in Liberia where being a Norwegian put her immediately in the minority. She experienced frustration in language and the feelings of isolation that follow. The beginning is hard because first you have to admit that. It's hard...it's not going to be like you've painted it in your mind. How could a painting be accurate of a place you've never seen? You have to tear down expectations that have brewed for a year and just take the experience with raw vigor or else it will pass you by like a thief, and it will take what you could have gained.

Then you have to admit that probably right around the time you'll get used to all this and finally integrate into these people's lives and customs, their routines and grocery stores, their music and their chocolate, their houses and cars, right around the time when you start figuring out the details about people, what makes them them... it'll be time to leave. And then I'll get to miss them instead of my old life...but then they'll have become my old life. Life is strange how it deals the cards. (You have to admit that last part because adjusting doesn't happen in a week...it happens over much time and once you accept that, then you won't be surprised by it anymore.)

I just talked to my mother on the phone. She said something that I had been thinking but it was really good to hear someone say it back to me. "Sienna, it is in the challenging times of life that you will learn the hardest lessons...and the hardest lessons are the ones worth learning. You're in the midst of one. You're gonna figure it out." Each morning I figure it out a little more...I'm getting used to my 6:30 alarm and their morning routine is becoming mine as well. I'm even figuring out my superviser Kai, and Signe was right, each day it gets a little better working there and becomes more my job and I feel less like a stranger. I'm getting used to listening to norwegian conversation and I'm figuring out when to tell Signe I've had enough. I'm figuring out how to read (I've never been a reader) and discovering the riches in being still and thoughtful and asking for Christ' help.

I've jumped off a cliff that I didn't think would be very high. But it sort of was. I made the leap though and little by little I'm making my wings. I know that sounds cliche but it's true. And it really is true that you can't start making your wings until you're off the cliff because you just won't know how big to make them.

Tomorrow my girl and I are taking a road trip(!) I can't really tell you where we're going cause I'm not really sure myself. But I'm taking my camera so I can show you :) stay tuned.