waiting to be picked up.
Today was bad. My morning was good and my evening even better but everything in between was bad. If there's one thing I've learned from the few times I've travelled it's this...anything can become normal. life continues. day by day. stress continues. annoyance is alive and well. pressure. anger. exhaustion. sadness. frustration. I had each one of those emotions today. in full.
It was 2nd day of work at TrollAktiv, (you can click it) a tourist attraction that's a big recreation center. I'm too annoyed and tired to write this well. I hated it. I felt stupid and underestimated. misunderstood and so unloved. My boss is a very nice British man but my supervisor is a very mean Lithuanian woman named Kai. "mean" could really be unpacked here. She orders me around, hardly explaining what I need to do and then demands that I go back and do it all perfectly. I must have cleaned the bathroom 5 times before it almost satisfied her. She led me to the mirror in the bathroom and pointed, "does this look clean to you!!?". Surprised a bit, "umm. what?" "Does this look CLEAN to you!?" I felt that lump in my throat and knew I was about to crack.
It's so discouraging. I'm used to being a valued employee but I already feel defeated in this job, always on the defense or just hopelessly swallowing my pride. both are hard. I was warned about her way by my British boss and kept trying to remind myself that it's not me personally just her way... but after 8 hours, I cracked.
Signe picked me up. I demanded a cigarette and then just started crying.
Something ironic\funny is I've been working on memorizing Psalm 18 and this morning, before work, I took the next 2 verses and wrote them out a few times so I could play with them throughout my day. All day I was mumbling, "The cords of death encompass me, the torrents of destruction assailed me."
The verses before those were words describing the LORD's role in our lives, my strength, deliverer, fortress, stronghold, rock. I kept reminding myself.
All of this is just reality setting in. Norway or Cambridge, life continues and a new normal sets in...and in reality hard lessons are waiting around each corner.
I've just made the turn. darn.
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on a happier note: it's mikey's (right) birthday today and scotty's, i mean, scotch's (left) in a few days. happy birthday boys!!!
4 comments:
Listen, just because I said it doesn't mean that I have it perfected. Don't lose hope, every time we fail god intercedes. Nothing new, its just easy to forget sometimes. Ill be praying for you real hard, keep up the GOOD work.
P.S. I just downloaded Aimee Mann.
Bad days suck, for sure. I'm so sorry you had one! Your honesty is really encouraging to me though. I love you for that. And I love that you are able to crawl out the moment, and into God's arms for comfort. Too often I stay in my moment. Why do I do that when comfort is never far?
Anyway, I hope today is better.
Hi:-) Just caught up on your blog since you landed in the Great White North. Great stuff.Love those little Norwegian faces! Bad days-bad moments-bad people: Normal in this fallen world.(I wonder why your supervisor is so mean-bad past,bad current situation;just a bad attitude,general sin-I always wonder)
***Mrs. T
Sienna, my boss used to be the same way--really snappish and un-needly harsh. Then he kind of softened--I think it may have been because he wanted to show me from the beginning the right way of doing things and emphasize NOT screwing up. It is sort of like that old concept of elementary school teachers being mean the first week to get the kids to respect them and then the teacher breaks out the smiles and surprises (i wouldn't really know; i was homeschooled way back then). Anyway, I tell you this to encourage you--hopefully your boss will soften.
Sofie's World in on my list... so glad to hear from other people that it's a good pick.
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